Today was the graduation show for Wali Collins class in the Vintage Lounge at Gotham. I tagged myself on Facebook “at Gotham telling jokes”. Let the world know I performed at Gotham, even if it cost me a good $300. Ha! Never trust Facebook.
The set went well and someone from Noma- North of Manhattan Comedy expressed interest in booking me. Whether or not it happens, being thought of is flattering. Though, if I were living hand to mouth that gig would be even more important for me to book. They say being financially strapped builds an extreme thirst and hunger to succeed because success is not an option it’s a means of survival.
I don’t really want to start going hungry or homeless to get a stronger drive for success. But am I lacking the bohemian struggle? This feels pompous and like a white privileged “dilemma”. And it is. Whatever.
I need to celebrate what I got. I got up today, wrote, in fact I finished my journal in the Artists Way which is a huge journal of over 250 large and blank pages. I wrote a blog entry today. Lord knows, I am working hard and I have never worked harder in my life. Comparing myself to myself I’m killing it. Comparing myself to others I’m way older than my peers at this stage. These kids are 24 some of them! I believe my strong drive for success in the present is related to my unhealthy drive for success in the past. More of that subject in therapy.
Lets imagine an alternate reality I’m 27 years old with the AXS credit, getting club spots semi regularly, and a 5 min clip on Comedy Central under my belt. Truth is it sounds nice, but it wouldn’t be satisfying, I will still be and will never stop climbing and reaching. So take a chill pill sistah and enjoy the ride and happy graduation. Get up: 2x